The
Apostle Paul wrote that the Christ-follower should “not think more highly of
himself than he ought to think”, and went on to say that “we, who are many, are
one body in Christ, and individually members one of another.” When I read this
passage, one big question comes to mind: what does it mean for a person to
think more highly of themselves than they ought, and how does this negatively
affect one’s ability, as an individual member, to function together with the
body of Christ? Just how highly should a person think of themselves? Is there a
view that is too high and a view that is too low? In a nutshell: how does a narcissistic attitude
affect a person’s ability to function as a member of the body of Christ? There
are two primary phrases that I am looking at here. The first is “think more highly of himself than he ought
to think,” (verse 3) and the second is “we,
who are many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another” (verse
5). We will explore how these two verses interact (particularly, how the first
affects the second) and how they relate to the rest of the passage.
Of the first phrase, “think more highly of himself than he ought
to think,” (verse 3), Reese says
in his commentary on Romans, “Each individual member of the congregation is
pointedly commanded by the apostle to be careful how he regards himself, lest
constantly, habitually, he allow himself to have either too high an opinion of
his own importance, or too low an estimate of his value to the congregation.
Whenever a particular job is offered, the Christian should not try to shirk
responsibility by thinking himself too good for the job.” (p.579) Cottrell says
this is “an exhortation to humility… not to have too exalted an opinion of
oneself, ‘not to over-think...’ The Christian is not to overvalue his
abilities, his gifts, or his worth but to make an accurate estimate of himself.”
He also says, “Sometimes a false modesty may be just as detrimental to the
church as pride.” I would agree, and take it a step further to say that it most certainly is just as detrimental to
the church as pride. (p.319) Mills offers a more exact view: “the warning
contained in verse 3 is to avoid lofty thoughts of ourselves, not to
over-estimate ourselves, not to think that we are better in God’s sight than
others.” He then says, “The classical Greek gives the added meaning to the
words, ‘not to think of himself more highly,’ by translating it, to look down
upon, despise, to be over-proud.” (p.408) A perusal of various lexical
materials reveals that the word φρονέω can be translated “to have understanding, be wise,”
“to feel, to think”, “to have an opinion of oneself, think of oneself,” “to
think or judge what one’s opinion is” “to direct one’s mind to a think, to
seek, to strive for,” “to observe”. The full word, ὑπερφρονέω, as used in this passage, can be
translated as “to have lofty thoughts, be elated, haughty,” or “think too
highly of oneself” (when used in the context of self-evaluation) or “to think
highly, consider something of great importance,” (when used in a more general
context).
Of
the second phrase “we, who are many, are
one body in Christ, and individually members one of another,” (verse 5),
Reese says in his commentary on Romans, “The unity of the individual believers
is supplied by their relation to Christ, the head of the body (Ephesians
1:22-23; see also John 15:1-17)… That is, we, as individuals, are
fellow-members with one another in the body. Each member must recognize it is
but one of many members, and must contribute to the welfare of the other bodily
members, and a desire to do such is ‘thinking soberly…’” (p.581) Cottrell says
the point of this phrase is “the interrelations among the various members of
the body… Like the human body, the one church has many members with different
yet interdependent functions. I.e., there is variety in unity.”
(p.321) Mills makes another inference here: “…there is one point in this
comparison of the physical with the spiritual that must not be overlooked.
Although the body has many members, that values of the members are not equal.
Who of us would rather lose a finger than an eye, a hand than a foot, a toe
rather than a finger? …the same truth must apply to the Body of Christ as
applies to the human body.” (p.409-410) This notion, however, seems
preposterous and inaccurate. Each member of the body is just as important as
the next. What good is an eye if there is no hand with which to coordinate? The
word for “members” here is μέλη, which can be translated “a limb or member, or any part, of
the body,” “a part as member of a whole.” TDNT comments on the word in the
context of this passage, “Normally the image of the body and members
presupposes the idea of the community as an organism,” and later, “The unity of
a body with many members to which Paul points…does not derive from the law of
organism which holds the members together. It is the ongoing act of the
creative will of God.” In other words, God brought the various members of the body
of Christ into unity, and therefore none of these members (of the body of
Christ) can argue that it doesn’t belong to God. The body of Christ is unified and
held together by God.
A
link can be seen here between verses 3 and 5: because each person (in the body
of Christ) belongs to God, nobody can argue that they don’t belong to God. Could
it be suggested, perhaps, that the haughty thinking as described in verse 3
would imply that one is saying they don’t belong to God? God has called each
person to humility, or thinking of
oneself in a proper light. Haughty thinking removes oneself from the proper
light that God has allotted for the Christian to view himself in. It is a
narcissistic pattern of thinking which can manifest itself either in the form
of pride or self-loathing. But wait, how does self-loathing compare to haughty
thinking? How does it compare to a person thinking more highly of himself than he
ought? If the reader might stretch his attention a little, perhaps an
explanation can be offered.
When
a person thinks of themselves as “top stuff,” they hold themselves to an
unrealistic standard. When they realize they are not achieving (or oftentimes
simply cannot achieve) that unrealistic standard, they begin to hate themselves
for it. In reality, they may be doing just as well (work-wise) as the next
person, but because they hold themselves to a standard they cannot attain, they
think they are unworthy of being a member of the body of Christ. They believe
that they are (or ought to be) better than themselves. In turn, they mentally alienate
themselves from others, believing they are not “of the same stuff” as the next
person. In psychological terms: narcissism is a cognitive distortion, an exaggerated or irrational thought pattern
that is believed to perpetuate the effects of a psychopathological state. Such
distortions are thoughts that cause an individual to perceive reality in an
inaccurate way.
So
how does this relate to the rest of the passage? “Since we have gifts that
differ according to the grace given to us, each of us is to exercise them
accordingly…” (12:6-8) Is a person with an inaccurate view of reality likely to
be able do this? Chances are not in favor of it happening. What would happen if
the stomach thought it should be a hand? What if a hand believed it was an eye?
What if an eye believed it was a mouthpiece? If someone is equipped and called
to serve others, yet believes that serving others is below him (i.e. he thinks
he is better than them) and thinks that he should be a preacher instead, the whole
body suffers as a result. His narcissistic attitude is like a sickness, bringing
down everybody around him. Even if he becomes a preacher, it is still not what
he is called to do, and thus he will not be able to fill that role properly. A
hand cannot be a mouthpiece. Giving would be without liberality, leading would
be with laziness instead of diligence, and mercy would be with reluctance rather
than cheerfulness.
A
narcissistic attitude makes it impossible for love to be without hypocrisy
because love (v.9), by definition, does not consider itself to be better than
someone else. It cannot unconditionally love because it does not believe itself
to be unconditionally loved, and therefore it cannot devote itself to another
in brotherly love. It gives preference only to itself, seeking not the good of
another but rather its own agenda (v.10). It is lazy rather than diligent, and
apathetic rather than fervent (v.11). It does not rejoice in hope but sulks in
self-pity. Instead of persevering in tribulation, it gives up in a dramatic
fashion (v.12). It does not contribute to the needs of the saints, but seeks
only for others to contribute to what it erroneously perceives as needs for
itself. Craving attention, it desires to be welcomed, but is itself often unwilling
to welcome others (v.13).
So
how can a person overcome narcissism and better function as a member of the
body of Christ? First, a goal is needed;
what does it take for an individual to function properly as a member of the
body of Christ? Such a goal can be found in the second half of verse 3: “…think
so as to have sound judgment.” Reese says in his commentary on Romans, “Here is
the true standard by which a man is to think of himself… Sober and sane
thinking neither exaggerates nor depreciates such gifts as God Himself has
bestowed on the believer. …sober thinking would lead a man neither to
overestimate his own gifts, nor underestimate those of others.” (p.581) Now
that the goal has been found, how does a person get from point A (narcissism)
to point B (sound judgment)?
A
good way to transition from narcissism to sound judgment would be through cognitive restructuring, which
identifies inaccurate thoughts and replaces them with more realistic ones. The
narcissist believes they are “the exception to the rule.” This can present
itself in an overly lofty or overly lowly way, but the principle is the same. “Christians
are all members one of another, except for me. I just don’t fit.” This is a
common thought among narcissists (whether they believe they’re better than everyone else and thus
fitting in would be too lowly for them, or that they’re worse than everyone else and thus fitting in would be too high for
them is irrelevant here). The narcissist must come to grips with the reality
that they were created by God just like the next member of the body. Instead of
saying, “I’m not good enough,” a better response to the issue of fitting in
with the body of Christ would be, “God made me just like He made the next
person. I may not be designed and purposed to serve the same function as
someone else, but the hand is just as necessary as the eye, the stomach is just
as necessary as the mouthpiece, and the servant is just as important as the
preacher. I may not be able to do the things that I view as being more
glamorous, but the things I am able to do still need to be done. If this is
what God has called me to do, then this is what I will do.”
As
it is, the Body is sick, scared, and falling apart. It is likely that its
members do not know their functions because certain roles have been glamorized
while others have been made to appear lowly and unimportant. Rather than having
to scheme and brainstorm ways to simply get people to come to church, using
programs in hopes of stimulating fellowship and creating a false sense of
community, if every person kept in mind Paul’s teachings, and each member of
the body served their purpose, perhaps our world would be turned upside-down
simply as a byproduct of our faithfulness to God and to one another.
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